Epic Night

2/9/10
My journal got soaked today. It was on the outer perimeter of the Tee-Pee when it started to dump rain on us. I had forgotten that Catlin had lifted the rain-fly around the edge of the tp up so that we could get more airflow, and about 20 minutes into the downpour I realized that my journal, three pairs of shorts, and a couple tee-shirts got completely soaked.

I moved the wet clothes into areas where they could drip dry and I took my towel to the pages of my journal. Fortunately all the pages where I had used water-soluble ink had already been recorded on my computer.

Last night was ridiculous.

For serious.

I was planning on having mmmmm maybe two beers. 1/2 of a pitcher and then call it a night. We went to this place called cheeky monkey’s (8 dollars pitchers, best deal so far in Australia) and I bought a pitcher for me and Anna to share. Then, Kat discovered the margaritas. They came out of a slushie machine and they were 5 dollars. And they tasted great. And they had a lot of Tequila in them. And so the night began.

Cheeky monkeys was a pub/restaurant that had a two-level stage at the end of it. There were a number of booths around the side, and then three long cafeteria-style tables up front—with the stage in front of that.

We sat at one of the metal tables (the place was packed) and ate our 7 dollar meals—amazing bargains again (Anna and I split a giant bowl of fries w/ chicken tenders on top). We got intoxicated to a minor degree and laughed ourselves silly at the contests and events that occurred on the stage.

The first one involved three sets of two partners, one male one female. All of the males were given a small length of plastic hose, with a balloon attached to one end. They were instructed to place it inbetween their legs, while the female partners got to their knees. The first female to “make her man pop” (meaning to explode the balloon behind their partner) won a free surf lesson. The woman who won did it in about 30 seconds. The other two women had their balloons about 1/3 full.

The next contest was the fake orgasm contest. There were three males and three females. The girls sucked. A lot of screaming. One of the males was boring and not too into it. The first and last males were amazing.

The first one who, mind you, did not want to be selected for the challenge at all, took it to the limit. His charade involved gesticulations of the arms, legs, pelvis, and feet. His voice was evenly tempered and his chosen words were comedic, yet oddly inspiring.

The last male, Jackson, (out group had made friends with him earlier) should have won. His orgasm went something along the lines of:

“Oh yeah baby I’m gonna, wait— hold on just a second—don’t move, I’m gonna. Crap. Hold it. Just stay. AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH. Fuck. Sorry. That doesn’t normally— Do you want me too—ok yeah I know where the door is…”

Brilliant.

What was even funnier was the group of males next to our group who felt a big enough connection to Jackson to yell out “HEY! YEAH! GO DUDE!! THAT”S ME RIGHT THERE!”

Priceless.

The second to last competition was a scavenger hunt. This was not announced. They just asked for 3 males and 3 females to get to the stage. They had been announcing that there would be a dance competition in a bit, but they had been asking people to sign up. I was pretty sure that this was not the dance comp, but I wasn’t entirely sure. They needed another male. What was I going to do but volunteer?

It was pretty fun. We had to get flyers from around the bar, an empty glass, a straw, a condom to put over our hands—y’know, the basic drill. The last person back each time got eliminated. On my way down for a….straw? maybe? I dunno. On my way down from the stage for something I took the rim of a glass to the head (just above my right eye). I didn’t notice it until afterward, but it swelled up and I got a nice clean cut, about 1.5 cm long on the outside of right eye socket. I was actually kind of proud of it the next day, as Robin commented that is was “more than a little BA” (That’s ‘bad ass’ for all you old people).

The last contest of the night was a dance competition. The first round had 8 people. They danced to three or four different types of music, then four were eliminated. Same deal for the second round, and two got knocked off.

For the final round, the two finalists had to choose a partner from the audience. That partner became their stripping pole, and they had to strip for the win. The gentleman competitor was quite agile, and performed some incredible moves. He got down to his boxer briefs, and made his “pole” cry with laugher.

The female competitor, well, what happens at the cheeky monkey stays at the cheeky monkey.

They used a decibel meter to decide the winners for each round, and we had to cheer three times in order to determine a winner for the final round. The male won (50 bucks cash and a $50 bar tab) by .7 decibels (116.5 to 114.8).

Then they started the music and the LC crew did what it does best. We started a dance party. We rushed the stage and danced it out til 2 in the morning. It was a great night.

(photos to come)